My curious curse was born with me. Born in the early 80s to an America in the last gasp of the Cold War, the gleam was already off and people were starting to look around and say, "Is this all there is?". That should have been my first clue that I wasn't being born with a silver spoon in my mouth. And it just went on like that from there...
See, the thing is, for me, that I always arrive at the last sunrise of a golden age. Doesn't really matter what it is, as soon as I take an interest in it, it has already peaked and is heading down to a grizzly end in a knacker's yard. Music, games, social and political movements. I arrive at the end, and am sometimes the one left to turn the lights off for the last time.
It's an incredibly lonely fate. The vaunted comradeship and sense of community many of these things spawned for others were only distant memories and cold ashes by the time I arrived. I can't tell you how many things I have shown up for and people, while very nice, go on to say, "Man, too bad you missed it. You woulda had a hell of a time!". Thanks for that...
So I hang my head and enjoy the last little bit of life to be had, and move on to something else. I feel like the last disciple of a dozen dead religions. Caught between generations, all my cornerstones have turned to sand. Except magick.
Magick is something that will never die. It's shape and form and face, how we look at it and work with it, these things are mutable. But, that mysterious thing that is just beyond our reach, that sparkle in the dark, the glint of something in the eye of an animal who knows more then it should. These things will never fade away.
The people I journey these paths with, they never have to leave either because this is a path that we have not lived to start, and will not live to see end. The history of magic wends it's way through human existence and beyond, we simply walk the path together for a bit and see part of it. There is no beginning or end, and best of all, that means I will never be late again.
This is beautiful. . .I love that we simply walk the path.
ReplyDeleteGood writing, and well put!
ReplyDeleteI've been on the pre and post end of things before...and they are both equally tiresome in a social sense. Coming in on the end and hearing tales of the glory days does suck. Being into something and getting teased for it only to have it become the in thing years later after you are over it equally sucks.
ReplyDeleteI came to the conclusion years ago that I am much happier if I do what I want to do and ignore the rest of the world if they are being troublesome. If others are interested, wonderful! I love sharing things I am into with those of like mind. There is something so much more about being able to talk to people who are really interested.
But if I am the lone person lighting a candle in the dark, so be it, it's my candle and I'll pave my own path if I have to.